Orc Husbandry Manual

To My Orc, Jiang Quan-You

Once,
I held you, an infant in swaddling clothes,
sitting on the windowsill of the fourth floor,
thinking whether to jump.
My husband was terrified when he saw me,
and quickly tried every way to get me down.
That year, my depression began.
Later, through ongoing treatment, I realized
that this child used illness to tell me
that it's not shameful to rest, nor is it shameful for a mother to be weak,
because we have always been learning to love each other,
supporting and healing each other.
Authored by Peng Hsien-Hui,
Designed and typeset by Tian Wen She.
The editor-in-chief kept asking why she had to be forced to read my love letters to my son.
Oh right, this is a love letter to my orc.
Many chapters can be read on Matters,
so if you've read them, you don't actually need to buy it.
However, this book also includes many new chapters,
and I would still welcome it if you choose to buy it.
My orc, whose real name is Jiang Quan-You,
is our eldest son.
Unlike other children,
he crawled until he was two years old before he started walking,
and only started calling "Mom" and "Dad" at two.
He only started speaking simple sentences at two and a half.
Because he couldn't express himself,
he began to convey his anger by biting people.
As a result, he changed kindergartens four or five times.
We went through his kindergarten years together, constantly apologizing to other parents and teachers.
In his childhood, we visited every doctor and hospital in Greater Taichung.
Doctors diagnosed him with emotional disorders, developmental delay, speech delay, and hyperactivity.
Finally, we learned it was Asperger's,
a type of pervasive developmental disorder.
My orc loves the ocean.
His first time snorkeling, he didn't act like a beginner.
In fourth grade, he said he wanted to be a marine biologist when he grew up,
and he is still pursuing that path.
My orc is Mom's darling,
and his sister Pineapple is Mom's treasure.
Together, they are my heart and soul.
There's still so much more I want to say to my orc.
This book covers less than half of what I want to say,
but my orc is an adult now,
and my empty nest syndrome is approaching.
The child who was once abandoned by teachers and schools
is now diligently studying to become an expert in aquaculture.
This book has few pages,
but it records the orc's difficult journey from childhood to adulthood.
By publishing this book,
besides giving myself a sense of closure,
I also hope to share experiences with parents who have children with Asperger's,
and even more, to provide a way to interact and cope for friends who have children with Asperger's in their lives.
Quan-You, Mom loves you very much,
and as you've grown up,
your contributions to this family have made all the past suffering feel worthwhile.
However, you are also about to take off and fly.
I feel empty, but more than that, I feel comforted,
because I see a strong fish tail behind you.
Go, go to the ocean you love most,
but don't forget, when you are tired, weary, or misunderstood,
Mom will always be here waiting for you.

To my dearest eldest son, Quan-You.